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She will recover. I believe that.

Assalamualaikum gaissss. Today I wanna post about one of my best friend forever. She is a part of Tojah's group, Nana.

She was in pain for about 3-4 months I think. At first, she told all of us that her something was pain. So, I thought it just sakit yang bebiasa je. But almost everyday she keep repeating the same thing. Then, we told her to go for a medical check up. After dah pegi medical check up, she said doctor will call her parents if something tak kena dengan check up tu.

Then, one day masa memory card aku hilang, I called her to seek the memory card for me. But she was crying. She said doctor was called her parents and her parents in their way to hospital. She was crying badly. Its a coincidence lah I called her time tu. So, aku pun bersiap and pergi sekolah semula, to seek the memory card and to keep her calm. I cant see her crying.

After that, her pain getting worst. Its bleeding! Memula sikit je bleeding but makin lama makin banyak darah keluar. Everytime darah tu keluar, she was like dying inside to deal with the pain that she had to face. Lagi merana tengok kalau nanah keluar sekali masa bleeding. And, setiap kali tu jugak dia akan menangis. Pernah sekali tu, aku macam biasa ah buas dalam kelas. Dia duduk bersandar dekat dinding belakang kelas. Lepastu dia panggil aku. She said, "Ila, come here. Duduk sini, jangan buas sangat.". Then, "Pegang tangan Nana. Kalau sakit jangan menjerit tau." Pastu dia mula cengkam tangan aku kekuat untuk tahan sakit time bleeding tu. Aku macam nak menangis. I felt like useless everytime see her in pain but nothing I can do to reduce it.

She terpaksa diet sebab doktor suruh. She cant eat nasi, seksa untuk kami tengok dia macamtu tbh. So, after a few weeks, she looks like had recover time spm tu. She getting well. But, unfortunately recently she told us that she is in hospital and doing chemo. She had cancer stage one. Ketaq tangan aku time tu. Cancer weh. Bukan benda memain. We never expect this would happen to her. She is a happy go lucky girl and always smile all the time. Hm.

Naaa, I know that it is not easy to face it all alone. I cant even hug you right now to keep you calm. I heard that chemo tu menyeksakan. Menyakitkan. But please, bertahan tau? You need to recover as soon as possible! We have a lots of plan yang belum dibuat termasuk overnight at your house. So please get well soon. I know you're strong. I know you can face all of these. God gives you this test because He loves you so much. You have to be strong because semorang sayang hang weh. You will recover, believe in yourself. Cancer stage one usually still can recover. I believe you can! Sorry cant be by your side when you have to face this pain alone. Im sorry for being useless. I love you so much, Naa ❤

Beautiful People.

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

Permata Pintar UKM2

Assalamualaikum, haii :)

Ok, aku still penat baru balik dari SMK Syed Ahmad Bukhary. Buat ujian Permata Pintar UKM2. 3 jam berkabung dalam makmal tuu dengan soalan 300 lebih. Mula dari pukul 2 sampai pukul 5. Aku, Humairah, Natrah and Aishah keluar pada kelas pukul 1.30. Time nak keluar kelas tu kelakar doe. Nak pegi jawab soalan je pun tapi kitorg salam dengan suma budak ppuan dalam kelas. Mimi cakap macam baru keluar AF je xD kahkahkah. Humairah laa yang pegi salam diorg. Aku salam dengan geng aku je dah cukup.

Time nak keluar, dekat pintu pagar, pak guard halang kami dengan air. Time tu dia tengah siram pokok. Dia tanya kitorg nak pegi mana. Kitorg jawab laa nak kena pegi sekolah Bukhary, dia kata ada surat sekolah tak. Kitorg jawab ada, then dia sambung siram pokok dia sambil tanya kitorg macam-2. Sengaja nak buang masa kitorg ! time tu dah pukul 1.30 lebih daa. Kitorg kena tunggu laa sampai dia habis siram. Bila dia bagi IC yang mak Aishah tinggalkan dekat pondok guard, kami pun nak pegi dekat keta kakak Humairah. Kakak dia dah tunggu. Bila nak langkah keluar je, cikgu kaunseling yang baru masuk kawasan sekolah dengan kereta tanya kitorg nak pegi mana. Kitorg jawab nak pegi jawab ujian pelajar pintar, then cikgu cakap buat elok-elok.

Banyak gila sekolah dekat kawasan tu sampai kitorg taktau yang mana satu sekolah Bukhary tapi kami jumpa jugak laa. Time masuk tu, rasa janggal oh. Kat sekolah tu, diorang buat majlis akhir ramadhan. Sekolah aku tak pernah buat pun. Baru sampai je sekolah tu, dah jumpa budak hensem xD haha. Diorg buat persembahan atas stage. Aku sampai sana, satu je tempat yang aku cari, surau ! Nak kena solat zohor dulu. Kitorg tanya cikgu dekat situ, then dia kata dekat hujung. Kitorg pun jalan then kena lalu dekat tepi kelas. Budak laki kelas tu macam terencat akai ja pun -..- diorg dok bersiul, mintak numb Humaira. Bahaya oh jalan dengan Humairah.

Sampai surau, kitorg nak solat laa then ada orang tengah belajar dalam surau. Tak jadi nak solat. Kami patah balik, pegi makmal. Budak laki tadi still menggila. Mintak numb Himaira. Nasib aku jalan dengan Aishah, takda laa terasa jadi hotstuff sangat xP hehee. Perkara yang paling menyedihkan aku ialah aku tertinggal solat zohor :(

Time jawab soalan tu, mula-2 senang, makin lama makin susah. Bengong otak aku nak jawab. Time kena hafal numb, abang pakai kopiah tu datang and tengok IC aku. Aku nak je tutup muka aku. Maluu. Dah laa muka dalam IC macam orang apa je. Tapi takpaa, buat cool beb ! Then abang tu tanya aku time aku tengah menghafal numb. "Nabila form berapa?" dia tanya. Mula-2 aku abaikan je sebab nak hafal numb then dia tanya lagi sekali. Aku pun terpaksa jawab. Hilang dahh numb yang aku hafal tadi. Haiyaaa. IC aku sorg je yang dia tengok. Tau laa muka aku hodoh pun :| Soalan subjektif BM susah. Lain dia tanya, lain aku jawab. Seperti kebiasaan, kalau aku tengah bengong sure aku lipat tudung macam budak nerd. Sifat tu tidak boleh dibuang dari diri aku. Aku kan unik ~ :p Seriously, aku rasa aku tak lepas bent kali ni. Tapi pape pun, tetap doakan yang terbaik buat aku. Wish me luck !

Love letter ♥

To my future wife,

You do not know me yet. You are probably wondering why I am even writing to you. You may think that, because I am a man, I will not be able to convey my thoughts, my feelings, my love, in words. But do not underestimate me. There are many things you do not know about me, yet. There are many things I want you to learn and discover about me because some day I want to marry you.

As I was growing up, and I never admitted this at the time, but I had great respect for my mother and father. True, we argued and fought, and disagreed on many occasions. But I never lost my respect for them. My dad, though not perfect, treated my mother like a queen. He never belittled her. He never second-guessed her decisions. He stood behind her at all times. He loved her. His love was a perfect example for me, and my brothers and sisters, to follow.

Now, as I grow older and hopefully wiser, and as I approach my own turn at marriage, my thoughts turn to my dad’s model behavior. By being persistent, patient, and prayerful, he succeeded in being a loving husband to his wife and a loving father to his children. I hope to emulate my dad’s good example; I want to be as good a husband to you as my dad was to my mom.

I write this letter to you because I want to be your husband. I truly want to be your husband. I want to be a husband who will love you, cherish you, and make you always feel special. Husbands nowadays are often mocked, scorned, and ridiculed. Men are often perceived as worthless, egotistical, and selfish. I am none of those. I am a man, a human being, who desires your love and respect. I need those gifts of love and commitment, which only you can give. And I want to return the same to you.

Why should you want me as your husband? What will convince you that I am the one you should look for and eventually marry?

I will be the one who will recognize your goodness. I will be the one who will respect you and appreciate your high moral standards. I will be the one who will admire the way you respect yourself. I will be the one to hold your hand when you need affection. I will be the one to kiss your cheek when you feel lonely.

I will be the one who will hold you when you need to feel secure. I will be the one who will comfort you in your sadness and share in your happiness. I will be the one who will be by your side as you bring our children into the world. I will be the one who will love you as if each day was our last together.

But why do I want to marry you? Why not the blonde who winked at me on the beach? Why not the brunette who called me every night? Why not the redhead who challenged my savvy and intelligence? Why not the skinny, long-legged model who catered to my every whim? Why not the cute, perky girl who seemed to have everything in common with me? Why you?

Well, future wife, let me explain. All those girls interested me. But you will not merely interest me. You will love me. And I will love you. Your soft touch will weaken me. Your eyes will enthrall me. Your beauty will mesmerize me. Your goodness will enamor me. Your virtues will captivate me. Your trust will engross me. Upon securing your trust, my heart, mind and soul will finally find peace and contentment.

I really will not ask for much. I will ask that you stand beside me through both the heartaches and the joys. I will ask that you welcome our children with open arms as our parents welcomed us. I will ask that you tell me when I am wrong and tell me when I am right. I will ask for your honesty and respect. In return you will receive uncompromising faith, fidelity and love.

What will draw me to you, more than anything else, however is your love of God. And your attempt to follow His will. Your continued faith and love for God, through the failures and the triumphs, through the laughter and the tears, will only increase my love for you. So, please continue to be patient and wait for me. We will soon meet and begin our life together. And with the grace of God, through faithful devotion and loving sacrifice, we will attain eternal happiness in Heaven.

After reading this short letter, future wife, you should now know me a little better. I hope you will be pleased. I hope you now understand why I wrote this for you - so you will see my heart. It beats for you. It will always beat for you.

With Love, Your future husband ♥♥♥

*still ada lagi kea lelaki yang macam ney dekat dunia ? Haha. Kboii gang !

True love.

I don’t know why I love him the way I do. He makes me feel so safe and so loved, in his arms I am truly free. The way he looks at me sends shivers down my spine but I know everything will be okay. He always makes everything okay. When he smiles at me my heart could soar. Every stupid love song on the radio belongs to us. It’s so nice just to love him and not care and know that he loves me back. It’s nice to be with him and spend time with him and watch his sweet face as he sleeps and to feel his heart beat. I think if you felt our heartbeats they would beat at the same time. I feel like this is what I was meant to feel, like all the others were just practice, but this is for real. He makes me feel like I could be anyone and do anything I wanted. The way he protects me makes me melt, and the way he is overprotective. I'm not afraid anymore, he's always comforting me and letting me know he's with me every step of the way. So this is what true love feels like.

You're perfect.

You’re perfect because everything you do makes me smile, because every second I spend with you is worthwhile, because when you laugh at me I laugh too, because everyone else can see that I’m devoted to you, because I love your eyes and the way they shine, because you don’t tell lies and you’re so cute when you whine, because when you get mad you can’t hide it, because even when you’re sad I can find it, because the way you hold me sends shivers up my spine, because your spirit’s so free and you’re so damn fine, because I never stop thinking of you ; it's just not fair, because you're just perfect and no one else can compare. 

The Day You Went Away...

Well hey, so much I need to say
been lonely since the day
the day you went away
So sad, but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away.

 “You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn't depend on blood. Nor is it exclusive of friendship. Family members can be your best friends, you know. And best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family.” 
― Trenton Lee StewartThe Mysterious Benedict Society